How many times do you hear "they grow so fast? Enjoy it while it lasts"
"Fast" maybe the biggest understatement ever uttered. It is more like Mach .10! I swear it only seemed like yesterday she was 5 lbs and could firmly fit in her Dad's palm! A year and a half has been time that has flown but has been thoroughly enjoyed! Also, to say "documented mildy" would be the second biggest understatement.
Without a doubt, time speeds up when you get older and, right on schedule, it has dawned on me that I no longer have the same eternity stretching before me that seemed to be there only a few years - or decades ago.
It seems like just two weeks ago I was pregnant.
Just 1 week ago Sinclair was born so fragile and tiny....
Just 2 days ago she learned to crawl, five minutes after she learned to sit up.....
Wasn't it yesterday she learned to say "Momma"???
Not only that, I've begun regretting the time I wasted.
I want back the hours upon hours I used to spend listening to Oprah explain to me the meaning of life, knowledge of which is considerably clearer when people give you a standing ovation everyday just for showing up for work. Having a billion dollars to come home to doesn't hurt either.
I regret all the time I spent 25 years ago searching for a radio station playing something other than Michael Jackson's "Thriller" and the evenings I wasted before I met Mr Wonderful thinking I was going to meet Mr. Right in a bar.
I regret all the time I spent driving around looking for a parking spot 20 feet closer to the store entrance. However I also regret the time it took me to walk miles to the store entrance when I first got my drivers license because I was afraid to park between two cars.
Then there is the 3,532 hours I've spent watching Fox News. This is not to say watching Fox News is in and of itself a waste of time. It is, in fact, required viewing for any enlightened being and it is a badge of honor in our household if you can recite Bill O'Reilly or Sean Hannity verbatim.
Then there is all that time I wasted trying to train our Cavalier King Charles to follow my commands. I should just sign the deed to the house over to them and spend the rest of my life feeding them and throwing a ball for them to chase.
Cherish the time! Man, I love being a mommy!
Fascinating realization #4875: Sinclair has a deep obsession with all things construction -- while they are working on our street, she has watched patiently daily just longing for one of us to take her to "Watch trucks"
Tonight as we prepared for the Ballet Ball, she showed everyone how she was self-taught in the "booot-toon" snapping on Daddy's tux shirt. We were all in awe.....especially, since it was ONLY YESTERDAY she was took her first steps!
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2 comments:
Sinclair's Mom,
There comes a time in every red blooded Texas woman's life where we have to stop--just completely stop and allow ourselves to idle for a second. We need this time to take stock of who we are and who we aren't.
Being a wife and mother changes the dynamic completely. I would imagine you never knew love before until you saw it in that little girl's eyes. There she is..this beautiful, living breathing by-product of your love.
Life in interesting, Kristi. It gives us so much and takes away much more. It's greatest gift is time, but the older we get the more "the quickening" takes effect...that's what you wrote about in your post.
Then, time becomes life's biggest enemy. What a lovely conundrum.
Take the time to take stop, my dear. Life is so much more than the accoutrement that makes it shiny.
What makes it sparkle with the utmost beauty are the things we have to polish ourselves.
Best,
Laurie Kendrick
I wish I could apply my own common sense to my own life, but alas...physician heal thyself.
It seems to me (based solely on what I'm gleaning from you're writing) is that you're in a current state of disbelief. Sometimes, life (as you wrote and as John Lennon warbled) happens when we're busy making other plans.
You wake up one morning as Kristi. Then seemingly, the very next morning, you're "Mrs. Fabulous".
The reality is (and I swear I'm not trying to get Oprah-esque or Dr. Phil-ish on you here) the live you're living--be it good, bad or indifferent---is the life you've created for yourself. You're living a life that's rife with what you know and what you know is comprised of two things...events and experiences. Events are the minutia that fill the the tiny pin holes in our lives: shopping for lobsters at Central Market. Buying a new car. Getting a job.
Experiences are the substantive things that fill the vast chasms and crevices of our lives. They are momentous and can change the course of our existences.
In your case, meeting John...marrying John, giving birth to Sinclair and then seeing the future in her eyes.
It's life.
It's not shopping for lobsters--it's eating them with your husband. It's not buying a new car; it's all the wonderful, life-affirming places in which a new car can help you arrive....It's not the job, it's the magic you come home to when your work day is done.
As I said, "the things that you polish yourself".
What you're doing right now Kristi is just that. This self applied polishing is "verbing". That's what you're doing. It implies an action. You're thinking and wondering and figuring out a plethora things and learning the subtle (and sometimes, the not so subtle) differences between your life's events and your life experiences.
You're gaining wisdom.
I once read that the wisdom is a gift. It's not something you can train for, inherit, learn in an academic setting or acquire it while on the job. Sure, all these things can can give you access and even foster the acquisition of knowledge, but not wisdom.
From where I sit, I think that's where you are right now---you're learning the difference.
Best,
Laurie
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