BOOT CAMP IS (EVENTUALLY A GOOD) HELL

I think I was so moved this week by hearing Navy Seal Marcus Luttrell, author of New York Times best seller, Lone Survivor speak was I have a passionate respect for the military and what they have to achieve to reach their goals. Since I heard him speak I have been reflecting the past week of my adventure a few years ago that I also signed up Boot Camp. Not quite, the Government issued one P.O. Luttrell endured (there was no AK-47 training in my class) but it was a significant life altering experience for me, none the less. For those reading this in shock, trust me, stunned was the impression of most of my friends. This is without a doubt one of the most amazing confidence transformations I ever made. Still today, I use skills mentally and physically I learned almost on a daily basis. I think a class like this should be required by everyone before you can get a Driver's License.

Boot Camp (for civilians) is month of mental and physical training. As usual, I bit off more than I can handle, and took eight weeks. This is NOT the event you initially want to "overachieve" in, trust me. I did expect it to be rigorous and demanding, but I had NO IDEA what I was in store for. To say it is hard work does not describe what I endured. Then again, anything worth something usually is. From Boot Camp I emerged in top physical condition and mental condition. I was astounded by what I accomplished in those few weeks. I went from a "pity party of one" to relying on people (my team) that I never knew before that day. These were folks from all backgrounds of life, that I still keep in touch with today.

The first day I arose at 4 AM on that cold December day in my little matching workout gear and new workout shoes. Note to self: wardrobe coordination was completely useless. You soon realize how weak mentally we are as humans. The conditioning started immediately upon arrivals. Immediately everything you do is judged to start developing you unconsciously as a team. I pushed my physical limits to levels I never thought possible. I would come home and cry until I thought I did not have a tear left in me.

Honor, Courage, Commitment. Three words that before Boot Camp probably held little meaning. Here, they’ll become words you’ll live by. What you make of this experience makes you. Philosophically I had no idea how much people rely on one another. I was always proud of my independence. Independence is not appreciated nor is it graded very high as a Navy Seal. Teamwork is the driving force.

The physical stress was hard enough and discouraging. We did countless curls, sit-ups, push-ups and pull-ups. We ran for miles as a group. Keep in mind, before this athletic endeavor I could barely run to the bathroom. I was always so discouraged, I was always seemed to be the slowest. I learned it was not where you finished in the race but that you achieve what you started out to do. By the second week you do not allow yourself to lag behind the group as you learn you all pay for your laziness together.

I still remember starting each day sore but clean and within the first hour getting wet and then being forced to roll in the sand. I grew up on the beach, so I could take it but the water was pretty damn cold in the month of December. I can still recall like yesterday the screams of my commanders breath against my face shouting "this is not a spa, Farrah, drop and roll" After hearing this command, I followed up with the natural human nature of a big eye roll and a four letter word under my breath. My Commander heard this and made my entire team run the miles my attitude veiled upon us. This is when you start to realize no matter you economic stature or education all you do effects those around you.

I was too proud to ever let him see me waver. I was always convinced he was laughing inside hysterically at my form. I loathed this human so much, yet at the same time I internally begged for his validation. My ego (which I immediately learned to check at the door) would not let anyone see the tears streaming down my face from the pain and humiliation. I was convinced at times the tears would burn permanent scars on my face, I cried so much. Keep in mind I was the majority of those crying and discouraged. Those that did not quit initially, we learned to carry our pain together and encourage one another to a cult-like level I cannot explain.

My vision at the time was extremely bad (almost legally blind before corrective surgery), I recall being turned loose with my group in the pitch black forest and we had to get out relying on trusting one another. Sound cozy? We did it while bear crawling. This is the most painful awkward a position a human should have to travel in motion for 100 plus yards. Then we had to crawl like crabs for 100 plus yards in return. I still have nightmares about that. My tender skin was ripped to shreds.

Week three, I would come home, cry and nurse my wounds. My sweet husband pointed out, "correct me if I am wrong, but you PAID to be beat up like this?" I nodded confirmation as I licked my wounds. I actually almost replied "Yes, Sir ....Hooooyah" out of habit. He shook his head and said "Just don't go back, why would you do this to yourself, honey, this grief is nuts"

After day 17 into my mental/physical improvements and his words were beyond foreign to me. I said "Don't you understand, he wants me to quit." John is still looking at me blankly like you dumb blond Pollock. I assured my family "this SOB will not break me" When I heard the words come out of my mouth this was my "AHA moment" I said "I cannot let my team down, I cannot give him what he expects." The fire was lit underneath my indescribably sore muscles.


The day graduation came I have never been more proud of my cuts, bruises and most of all my mental mindset. I got my picture made and received my $10 t-shirt with my name written with a sharpie on the front. John and I have moved three times and I have NEVER lost, misplaced that shirt. It hangs next to my finest Valentino couture.

Ironically, that day, there was a reporter at our graduation from the New York Times. He was doing a story on these (idiotic) people that pay a substantial amount of money to get torn through the mental and physical rigor of those wanting to fight on the front line. This is where I could feel as a team (the 40% that graduated that is) our newly developed self-confidence and self-assurance shines. You find yourself thinking a lot about life. When that photographer took our photo I found myself reflecting "if they could see me now" I proved to myself and to my family I could do it. I learned your body can take just about anything it is your mind that starts the self-doubt on the path to failure.