IF ITS TOO LOUD...THEN YOU'RE TOO OLD

THOSE who say John McCain and Barack Obama waffle on the issues should vote for gun-toting, meat-loving rocker Ted Nugent, who makes no bones about what he'd do as president. "[I'd] instruct the US military warriors to do their job - win the global war on terror right now and eliminate all threats from all sources by any means necessary," Nugent writes in his new book, "Ted, White and Blue." He'd also "take appropriate gas and oil from Mexico and the Middle East as payment for all debts we are owed by them," as well as end diplomatic immunity and taxpayer health care for elected officials. The "Cat Scratch Fever" wild man would eliminate welfare, and "able-bodied Americans who refuse to work will be sent to Cuba, Mexico, England and France." As for the UN, "[I'd] refuse to pay one red cent more to the UN until other nations pony up their fair share - but maintain membership just to keep our eyes on the bastards."